Revisiting this blog is interesting.
I don’t think I’m going to really keep maintaining anything about this blog. My therapist says to delete it if it causes too much stress leaving this up, and rereading my entries, but I disagree. Yeah, these are upsetting to read, but i've had time to heal and my life has gotten soo much better, and I finally feel safe again. rereading these mostly makes me feel grateful for where I am now. School is better now. Meeting Janice and Abel last year made my life a lot better, omg i love them so much. I dont talk with Rami as much as I used to, but I did visit Kat last summer (which took a lot of convincing but given what i was going through here, i think my parents understood i needed to be somewhere else for a change). I don’t think Kat and I are really compatible to be more than friends, but seeing her over the summer was magical. I’m graduating this year - its really scary almost being an adult. Omg and all the college applications, I’m really overwhelmed. Rami and I both applied to Washington University in St. Louis so maybe if we both end up going there we can catch up get close again. As of right now, I’m going to go get a late night 7/11 hot dog with janice. and we’ll meet up with abel at at the park after he finishes basketball practice. Fun Fact: if u look at the sky and squint really hard you can see that we have really bad light pollution and cant see anything here.
Kat and Rami had to say goodbye. Rami left at like 2pm, and Kat had to catch her flight at 9am. I;m so sad that the weekend is over. We had a lot of fun tho. I showed Rami and Kat the neighborhood, we went biking (they borrowed Matt’s old bike and dad’s bike), they met Janice and Abel and that was a crazy crossover for me but we all got along so well! Janice and abel slept over with everyone else at my house and we had a really good time. I also SLEPT WALKED FOR THE FIRST TIME??!?!? Which is really exciting because that's never happened to me before. When I woke up, I was laying in the middle of my driveway. I think it was around dawn because I could see the sky lightening a little on the horizon. I must have had a dream about being in kindergarten and drawing with chalk on the sidewalk, because when I woke up I had drawn a bunch of hearts around me on the asphalt. It was really funny. Anyway, it was so cold that I had to run back inside right after waking up.
On saturday we (all 5 of us) got movie tickets for eternal sunshine of the spotless mind AND WE WEPT. that movie WRECKED ME. alsooooo it got cold enough that I got to use my BRAND NEW brand new gloves :D. After Kat left, Rami and I thought it would be funny if we used some chalk to write a giant message on my street so that we could try to communicate with Kat as she flies over. We were looking for chalk in the garage but we couldn’t find any, I must have put it somewhere while I was sleepwalking.
Kat made it..:) she got my address from rami and surprised us. SHE BOUGHT A PLANE TICKET JUST TO SEE ME! :))))) AND SHE GOT ME A SET OF GLOVES THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE THE PAIR THAT I GOT (and lost one) FROM WOMMAKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shes so thoughtful and sweet omggggggggggggggg
Its my birthday today! I’m finally 16! ..yay..
My parents are still very paranoid, and I’m not likely to return back to regular school until next year. Those Onyx Hotel Tour tickets are never ever gonna happen for me now haha. Homeschooling sucks but I have a lot of free time now. I’m slowly but surely getting my parents to feel more comfortable with me going out to l.a. wise (the park by our house). At first we’d all go together, but now I can go on walks there alone without them as long as my phone is on me (I got a replacement phone at the mall back in january).
After a while I ended up playing pickup basketball with these two (fraternal) twins Janice and Abel Angelo. They live like 15 minutes away from here, across the street from railway credit union. They’re really cool. They're a year younger than me but we all go to CHS. I’d meet up with them at the park after school ended and they’d keep me updated on the latest high school news. I was able to convince (beg) my parents to let me go to their house. We spent a lot of time talking and playing grand theft auto. I’m so grateful for them. I’ve only really gotten to know them for the past month, and I’m really excited to go back to school next year with them.
In other news, Rami is coming down from Indiana to see me. He’ll probably make it by tomorrow evening and I can’t wait. Hes staying for the whole weekend, and I want to show him around the neighborhood and show him all the places I;ve told him about over the phone. He could meet Janice and Abel too. :) Kat couldn’t make it (obviously) cause coming from Maine to here and back all in one weekend is kind of a death wish no matter how you approach it (car or bus).
haven’t really been consistent with these entries. I’ll try to be more consistent!!
Even though i dont feel any better about whats happened, at least there’s nothing new. Theres like 3 cops outside my house every evening, and im trying to keep up with work with a homeschool curriculum. I feel really empty and stuck in a routine, but at least I’m safe.
This happened on the 17th
Someone left an envelope in my mailbox.
There was no address.
They hand-delivered it.
My mom found it after school when checking the mail. Dad wasnt home yet, and mom insisted that we wait for him. I needed to know what was inside and eventually she agreed to open it. We sat down at the kitchen table and opened it. There wasn’t a letter, or a note. It was hair. A small piece, around 3-4 inches long, brown. It was tied at one end with fraying red yarn. My mom stood up while I sat there really confused. She walked over behind me and grabbed my head. It was so sudden it freaked me out, she combed through my hair on the back of my head her fingers. Then it clicked for me too, holy shit was that my hair? Theres no fucking way thats my hair. After 30 seconds, she pulled on a strand of hair i couldn't see. A piece of my hair had been cut. Dad came from work early.
We called the cops and they checked the envelope for fingerprints. Later, they called us saying they found nothing. Dad said he's pulling me out of school for now. I cant argue with that decision, but maybe i shouldn’t be in this house, or here at all? How did this person even get a chance to cut my hair?
Apparently the police cant do anything at all.
Theres a cop that sits in their car outside my house every night now. I’m not allowed to take the school bus anymore which sucks but is understandable. I just dont understand what someone else is even getting out of this, and now i have to be stuck at home. If there was any hope of me making friends this year, its gone now, no activities, no job, no public transport, no schoolbus. I'm getting driven to school, and im expected to be waiting out front as soon as the bell rings. I get that its safer this way, but it still doesn’t help with how isolated i already was.
At least i still have kat and rami to talk to. Matt even reached out to me this week to check in.
I missed school today
I told my parents, and we went to the police to see if they could help. I don’t want to feel this scared anymore. I got 4 more calls this morning. And 48 more text messages.
They took my phone to see if they could trace anything, but they said no more text messages or calls were coming in. They got all my data off the phone though, maybe that will lead to something. They’re going to keep an eye on things. I feel a little better, but theres still a pit in my stomach.
Last night i told rami and kat about the severity of the phone call situation. I dont know why i held back on it for this long. They were really concerned. They noticed i wasn’t calling them from my cell phone as much, which was sweet. They asked me if i could check if the phone calls were still coming in. This was another late night at the family computer so i had to creep back up to my room to get my phone and phone battery.
I got back downstairs, turned it on, and instantly silenced it expecting to get a call. I didnt get a call though. Instead, i was able to see the my phone’s main menu for the first time in a week without incoming call notifications. But the thing is that i had like 568 unopened text messages from different numbers. And they all just said some version of “hi” or “hello”. The thing that freaked me out the most was that occasionally some of the texts would say “hi naomi”. I explained this to rami and kat, but what i really wanted to wake up my parents. Kat told me to wait until the morning, she didnt want me to get in trouble for staying up late on a sunday. She also said to check all the doors were locked before bed.
I’m going to show the texts to my parents tomorrow. Wellt technically, today but later. good night i hope this will all be over soon.
My phone is basically useless at this point. Everytime i turn it on I have a call coming in.
I talked to my parents about all of this. They seemed worried, and they tried answering one of the calls. They yelled at the person on the other end of the line, but it was just silence like i told them it would be. We decided to turn off the phone and take out the battery for now.
I just started turning off my phone completely at school.
Today on the bus ride home, the second i turned on my phone i was receiving another phone call from a random number. Why am i the target of psychological warfare right now? What did i even do?? I feel like I’m constantly looking over my shoulder.
I think I’m going to have to stop using my phone.
This is starting to make me paranoid. I at first I was getting these phone calls every few days. Since then, ive gotten like at least 50-60 a day. I dont think i have any enemies at school who would take the time to do this. I dont even knwo anyone well enough to have them be angry enough with me to do this. Who has this much time on their hands? Or this many numbers? Are they calling from phone booths? wha t do they even get out of this??? I just want it to stop.
im crying right now im so upset this is so dumb i lost a bracelet that kat gave me.
we did like an exchange at summer camp where we each made two for one another. i have another bracelet from rami (his broke pretty quickly cause he used a thin rubber band instead of elastic string so i keep it in a safe spot in my room). Kat’s was really cute it was black, purple, and white. DUDE this sucks so bad. I was wearing it every day and now its just gone. And its not liek this is the the first time. I was really trying to be conscious of when i was wearing it and to not fiddle around with it or take it off. I mean ive kept it for this long right??? i must have left it somewhere. I thought i had it with me at my house. maybe i lost it on the bus or at school? Its so gone by now. i dont know what to do. man i feel so shit about this. I really dont know what to do. I know kat probably wouldnt even care that i lost it but it mattered so much to me. I’m too embarrassed to tell rami about how upset this made me. Matt’s back in georgia. I feel so alone.
ok so today was unusual. I got a call in homeroom during a quiz and and i forgot to silence my phone. It was so embarrassing and i hated have everyone stare at me when i coulndt turn it off after like the first three rings (it was hidden rly deep in my backpack). But thats not the weirdest part tho cause after i left, i checked my phone and saw that i missed like 6 more calls. And they were from different numbers. I called the first number back and they picked up but didnt even say anything. I think someones playing a prank on me and im going to ignore it until they leave me alone.
I called kat and told her about the prank calls, but i kind of downplayed how much they worried me and played it off as a joke. I just dont want to look like I’m overreacting over something so stupid.
I went to see The Grudge with my brother tonight and it was SO SCARY
im never goig to japan. The stairs scene omg. It was really scary but so fun. Matt rarely visits from college and it was so nice to hang out with him like we used to.
One thing that sucked though was that i think i lost one of my gloves at the movie theater. It was packed, and a group of people behind us even helped look under the seats, but we couldnt find it. Im bummed about that. I should have seen this coming, its not even a surprise. Im really absent minded sometimes. like, one time on the train, i left one of my bags on the seat right next to me. I think thats one of the worst cases but, either way, i dont really trust myself to remember shit haha. Its nice going places with matt because he knows me well enough to help compensate for my forgetfulness, but i guess this time it didnt work. it really sucks tho those were BRAND NEW!
This is the family computer photo circa 1:48am october 22nd 2000 and 4
Chatting on AIM is nice. Its kind of dumb but i honestly feel so much happier talking to rami and kat on here than when i’m at school. I can’t use the computer really long after school cause usually my parents always want to use it for like 3 hours, so i have to wait for the weekend ORRRR just stay up late and sneak downstairs. Halloweens coming so last night we were talking about what we wanted to dress up as and how we all really wanted to watch the Grudge. I also showed them a pic of my new gloves (the ones from wommaks) and kat said liked them a lot and she said they were cute! :))
Anyway we went into a public chat room and a random was saying he had seen the grudge already which is OBVIOUSLY A LIE cause its not even out yet but he did say he had proof. So we asked him for proof and he sent a .zip file and i downloaded it but there wansnt anything on it, just like a jpg of the poster and some other random stuff. Anyway we got bored and decided to go to bed at that point (it was almost 2:30). I had to get up at 7am today after that, so im feeling rly tired and im gonna go take a nap noww !
As an esteemed Wommak's Great American Food Store employee i get a 15% discount that i can use twice a month. Aaaaand there are these black fingerless mittens that we have by the cash register,, and ive honestly been eyeing them since monday (to be fair there is not much to look at here). The gloves are ACTUALLY cute tho they are black and have like a white leopard print pattern and they have that little flap thing so that they arent really fingerless if its super cold? I meannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn its either 15% off on the gloves or im just getting candy and chips so ………….ill think about it
i hate customer service. I feel like most people hate customer service when they live in big cities cause when you dont know anyone, u can be mean to anyone without remorse, but like ms jennifer from church is a realllllllllllllllll bitch to be honest. I will not elaborate.
I GOT THE JOBBB!!!!
i talked to one of the grocery clerks at wommak’s last week, i went to the job interview yesterday, and i got a job at wommak's food store!!!! im getting $5.15 per hour HEYTHEY even if its just boring bagging and scanning i think its worth it for <3Britney<3 my beloved! Im starting on monday ill see how it goes.
i figured out how to insert links, matt helped me out.:)
Don't click this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I called rami and now me and him can chat on AIM. that shit is sick. Kat didnt pick up >:(( but rami gave me her username so we r cool now! The public chat rooms r crazy too haha!
First blog entry it took a while to set this thing up and its not the best but I’m working on it I SWEARRRRRRRR
10th grade sucks more than anticipated. I didnt want to eat in the cafeteria today so I had lunch in the library, but other than that today was alright. I listened to music and stuff. I miss rami and kat really bad.
I managed to convince mom and dad to let me go to the britney spears tour on march 17th for my birthday!!1!1!1!!!11! They said i could go and miss the next day of school as long as I pay for my ticket. And i DONT HAVE A JOB AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I’m going to go look for one soon. Ill take the bus downtown to mo row.
Anyway, I’m glad I was able to finish the basics of the website haha!